I Had to Divorce
I Had to Divorce
...to appreciate marriage.
There came a point
when my education
mattered much less
than my ability to let go
of reason and rationality.
Like the unwinding of a clock,
it took regression and simplicity
to unravel the knots in my head
and restore blood flow to my heart.
I had to release
my drive for perfection
to understand good enough.
I had to realize
even well-meaning people
can inflict unintentional harm.
I had to grow
in order to shrink
to my proper size.
I had to love
then suffer a great loss
to make my love stronger.
I had to lose faith
to discover an infinite trust
in a God beyond comprehension.
And I had to die
a thousand times
to truly begin living.
For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
~ Charles Bukowski
